Chasing happiness is a losing race.
“The day you stop racing is the day you win the race.” - Bob Marley
Ever feel like happiness is always just around the next corner? You're not alone. This relentless pursuit, like chasing a mirage in the desert that is forever out of grasp, is a concept known as Hedonic Adaptation. Imagine thirsting for water in a desert, believing it's just ahead, yet it continually eludes you.
Dr. Michael Eysenck coined a term that vividly captures this endless chase: the “Hedonic Treadmill.” It's the idea that no matter how hard we strive for happiness, we somehow end up right where we started. This endless cycle can feel defeating, but there's a perspective shift that can break the cycle: Dan Sullivan's "The Gap and the Gain."
The essence of Sullivan’s concept lies in understanding that happiness is not about relentless pursuit. The very act of pursuit implies a lack, a void waiting to be filled. Our consumer-driven society bombards us with the notion that happiness is just a purchase or achievement away. But this mindset only fuels the gap, the chasm between where we are and where we think we should be.
GAP-thinking fixates on the horizon, on what’s missing. It’s a recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction, leaving us trapped on the hedonic treadmill, where nothing is ever enough. It’s a natural human inclination to dwell in the gap, but it's not where happiness lives.
Happiness thrives in the Gain - appreciating what we have and recognizing the progress we've made. The common mistake? Benchmarking our happiness against an idealized future state, leading to inevitable unhappiness.
Consider the runner who achieves a personal milestone, like completing a half marathon, only to diminish their accomplishment by comparing it to someone else’s marathon. This “I only ran the half marathon” mentality overlooks their own significant progress. It's a clear example of GAP-thinking, where one’s achievements are undervalued by comparing them to others' or to an idealized self.
The key to happiness? Measure from where you are now to where you began. Celebrate your journey and every milestone along the way, no matter how small they may seem compared to others. Your “half marathon” could be the summit of someone else’s Everest.
Escaping the Hedonic Treadmill is about shifting from GAP-thinking to GAIN-thinking. It’s about recognizing your growth, embracing your accomplishments, and using them not just to inspire yourself, but to inspire others.
“I only ran a half marathon” isn’t a phrase of defeat; it's a banner of triumph, a testament to your journey and a beacon for others embarking on their own.
Every moment offers a choice: dwell in the Gap, with eyes fixed on a distant horizon of ‘what could be,’ or live in the Gain, appreciating how far you’ve come. So, ask yourself, "Am I in the Gap or the Gain right now?"
Remember, happiness isn’t waiting on the other side; it’s cultivated in the soil beneath your feet. Water it with gratitude, nurture it with recognition of your gains, and watch it flourish.
Welcome to the pursuit of happiness, Do Hard Things Nation. It’s not just a race; it’s a journey of countless steps, each one worth celebrating.
-Jay